Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Well, I'm starting this blog mainly because it's easier than handwriting all this crap. In a nutshell, I have artist's block and there's a program called The Artist's Way that is supposed to help you get through that. A huge part of it involves writing three pages of freeform thought about whatever pops into your head (fears, wants, dreams, etc.) and the thinking is that if you get it out of your head, then it frees your mind up to work better. I'm closing in on 40 and I've been pretty frustrated with how my career has been going lately. I've been a career illustrator for 12+ years now and during that time I've done some really cool things but I still feel like my work hasn't caught fire yet and I really have nobody else to blame but myself. Maybe because it's the wintertime and I'm lacking Vitamin D or something, but I just don't feel as motivated to do art as I used to be and I can't figure out what it is that going to kick start my passion again. So I'm hoping that just writing this shit down will clear out the cobwebs in my brain and get the gears working again. For one thing, I'm stuck in the past and I find myself reliving over and over again situations where I wish I would have done something differently - like personal stuff (dating a married woman, a fight with my best friend, and on and on) and I wish I could just move past them. People always talk about "learning to let go" and I haven't figured out how to do that yet. I think that's why I'm so obsessed with time travel movies because I want desperately to go back and make different choices. Maybe this is just how EVERYBODY is and they keep it to themselves, but I feel like every one around me is content with the way their lives have gone and it's just me who wishes he had the ability to reset time. So let's hope this is a start of letting go of some things and really starting to look forward.

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